Confession of an Acro addict

I recently came back to Auroville from teaching immersion with Marc Bauchet in Taiwan and I had a moment to look back on my journey with Acroyoga that started in 2011.

I always had mixed feeling about Acroyoga. It was a love & hate relationship.

Sometimes, my passion for Acroyoga felt more like an addiction.

Primary attraction to Acroyoga was more instinctive. As a young, fit woman who’s into body work, I was intrigued by the beauty and the strength of the practice. And I enjoyed so much discovering my strength. Witnessing my self being able to do things that I never thought I could, gave me enormous amount of confidence. In a physical realm, I felt proud of my self and my body. 

Acroyoga gave me physical challenge and the improvement was promising and fun was guaranteed.

 

As it’s a practice that is based on trust and communication that at least one or more person is involved, Acroyoga often acted as a trigger of a deep buried emotion or unconscious defense mechanism. After the first few years, the fact that Acroyoga was a such a trigger, became more dominant attractive points of Acroyoga for me.  Nicolas were often asking me why I’m not quitting this practice when it seems that Acroyoga brings a lot of pain and struggles to me. 

Acroyoga helped me to see how we’re all interconnected. And I was not able to see this in a loving ‘we are all one’ but more like ‘we are not an independant being. We are absolutely dependant, dame it!’. I fought and fought. what I discovered at the end this fighting was jealousy, greed, competitiveness, anger towards my self, finding my self not good enough, difficulty to ask what i need, difficulty to communicate what I truly feel.

It’s only this year that I finally gave up my ideal self and accepted that I have jealousy, greed, competitiveness and anger… Eventually I was learning to even love them because they teaches me so much. I felt bigger by accepting that they are part of me than trying to get rid of them from me.

 

I realised that everything that I emphasized in my teaching through Acroyoga, “trust, community & connection”, they were such a important key issues to be shared, because those were exactly what I have forgotten as an inter-connected being and that now I am devoted to embody.

 

When I see Acroyoga as a personal practice to grow my skills and gain confidence, the focus is on my individual success. 

If I see Acroyoga merely as a method to be with another human being and discovering our selves as relationship being, the focus changes to communication and how to bring more harmony between two or more human beings.

 

Finally I found the Yoga in Acroyoga.

 

So what happened in the immersion in Taiwan that made me look back all this?

During the Immersion, each day, I witnessed how all of us open up our selves more and allow us to give and receive. Realising everyone is unique human being and we all learn something from each other. Meaning that me, you, she or him have something unique and beautiful to offer to people.

Our eyes changed, Our faces changed, Our voices changed day by day…

I see the true power of Acroyoga.

The magic is not in the muscle. The magic is in the trust…

The last day, in the final group sharing, one of the participants said “ I didn’t learn anything new but I was reminded something that I’ve forgotten. And it is to listen. Just listen…”

I was crying. It was so beautiful. What we have created in 4 days was a space where everyone can slowly drop their mask and show them selves and allow them selves to be vulnerable. It gives me hope. It gives me encouragement that what we are doing here brings a real positive effect in this world. 

And this experience only pushes me to be even more vulnerable, more true to my self, more acceptance to as it is…

 

I feel extremely thankful for this experience, this path and this family…

Right now, I feel I have a heart that is big enough to share with everyone in the world.

 

One love,

Haein