So that’s it!
Our trip is set. The plain tickets are bought!
8 months trip in Asia and South America, starting in November!
It has been 4 years since I moved to Brussels from Auroville, South India.
So many things have happend over that 4 years.
To just mention some major factors,
It has been an abundance of amazing beautiful people around.
My belief in Yoga grew deeper.
Fell madly in love with Acro Yoga.
Started Haein Yoga studio and seeing it growing like I would have never imagined.
Encountered the darkest side of me ever.
Finally accepted that I’m a beautiful inspiring woman.
It has been 4 years of living my life fully at my best.
I’ve made consiouse and reasonable choices that makes sense to me. The result of the choices were not always as expected but it was always turned out better than I expected.
Making decisions were never too difficult for me. Because I never looked far and It seems always clear to me what I need to do next.
But since a year or more, there starts to be decisions that I had difficulty to decide.
It came to a point that I felt that my action doesn’t need to thrive from what I need.
Because I felt, I have everything I need!
This gave me luxury to make decision on what I want!
This was a big shift.
My question became, ‘What do I want to do to be happy and be true to my self?’ instead of ’What do I need to do to be happy and be true to my self?’
and that was just whole different, rather complicated process… Because whenever I tried to make sense out of why I would want this, it became senseless.
It felt like I’m on the wide open ocean without any sight of land.
There are lots of clouds, wind and waves. But no solid sign or reference of where I should direct my self to.
It’s like, I made a wall around me to have a reference of how much I can grow. It made me feel safe and gave sense of security because I can see what’s going on but as I grew bigger, the wall became too small and it started to limite me.
and now that I got out of that wall, it’s just an open space. There is no similarity, no familiarity, and no rules.
My choices and reasons have been making sense before because they are within my understanding and reasonable imagination.
In this open space, open ocean, my old values are not anymore valuable. My old rules doesn’t work anymore.
Outside of the wall, I felt my self very small.
And it felt GREAT!!!
I felt I’m not alone trying to work things out inside my own wall but there is this wide open space outside of my wall. I don’t know yet how to communicate with this space but somehow it made feel less lonely. It made me sense of belonging.
This was the moment that I was sure that I want to go on this 8months trip.
I want to have time for my self to dive into this transition of values and how I see the world around me.
I understand what this is about but I don’t live it yet. I want to experience with my body. I want all my cells to experience it.
I want to re-learn how to live on this earth as part of this eco-system ,as member of community of this bio diversity and as interconnected being.
I’ve been taking my self too seriously. My vision has been narrowing down to what I know and what I understand. There was no more wonders or mysteries.
I want to be reminded in my body that I’m part of something bigger, that I’m only small particle of this amazing universe.
I don’t need to be anything because I am never anything.
I want to be in touch with,
Something simple and natural…
Something that might not make sense with my intellectual mind but will feel right with my heart.
Something that I can’t understand…
Something that is so basic, we forgot long time ago…
So, you have noticed, my intention is still pretty vague.
And that's how I feel. Ready to step into the unknown...
I trust that life will guide me.
By the way,
Would I miss my studio and all the students?
Yes very much.
And that’s exactly why this trip means even more.
Because one value that didn’t change but became rather clearer is that this is what I want to do till the end of my life. I want to share yoga and different disciplines of body consciousness with as many people as possible. I want to keep inspire and help people to connect with them selves.
That's it for now.
Much much gratitude for all.
Love & Light